Progress and faith

I was reflecting over my personal progress and evolution and an interesting fact struck me regarding my attitude to development in general. I've always thought that development is something one attains by hard work. Really hard work. That I'm only assured progress if I keep myself on the absolute outer limits of my capacity. (This, in the long run, lead to depression, depletion and burn-out.) I never had faith in my development. I never had faith in my intrinsic potential. I thought I had to run everything with mind-control. (This lead to much unnecessary suffering.) I've now become old enough and selfish enough to realize that 1. Yes, effort is required, and 2. pain is inevitable as an intrinsic part of the contrast of life. But: 3. - Effort that is not aligned with the higher wish and will, i.e. effort just for the sake of effort, is unnecessary and often a result of ego-fear.

So, if I see myself as a seed, a seed that's planted here in the world, then I must have some inner qualities worth cultivating, as all seeds carry their growing potential inside themselves. And as I grow and expand I break out of my old forms and patterns. That can hurt, but it's always momentary and always for my own highest good. Trying to remain a seed when I should be growing roots and shoots would from a seed's point of view be ridiculous. It's life quality is to grow, and, hopefully, to bloom! Also trying to be a different kind of seed than one currently is would also be quite pointless. Yet this is what I've been doing for most of my life.
I'm sure that as a child I read many childrens' books that stressed the importance of just being yourself and accepting oneself. Somehow those stories never seemed relevant to me. Excellence seemed more important. But I never understood that true excellence comes from working through and cultivating one's own entire potential, not just choice bits here and there, or cultivating parts of oneself that are encouraged by others. Excellence comes from consolidating, yoking, bringing oneself into unity. This is where ease is found. Once on that path, nothing else matters. Suddenly fear loses ground and Love rushes in. I'm so grateful that I have this lifetime to grow and explore. And I will never need to be in a hurry or to be stressed about not developing fast enough, ever again.

Life is pretty miraculous. Sat naam.